Barnaldo

Me & Ronaldo @ Celas Maya
Originally uploaded by lauraespence.

For 5 hours a day, 5 days I week, I am in Spanish class at Celas Maya. The lessons are taught one-on-one, solely in Spanish, and for my first two weeks my tutor will be Ronaldo.

The culture of young adult men is strange here, and it often keeps us gringas questioning whether the guys our age are gay, straight, or somewhere in between. Young adult men here are legitimately obsessed with Loony Tunes and beauty pageants. When they compliment you on a physical attribute, they tend to look you up and down sterilely - not like they are getting ready to ask you out, but instead like they are wondering if you are worthy of their sponsorship in the next Miss Guatemala contest.

Ronaldo (apart from showing me a picture of every one of his cousins, sisters, or friends that has justifiably sported a tiara) is also obsessed with America´s Next Top model, Fashion Police, and Project Runway. He is a fashionisto who compliments me everyday on something that I am wearing, and has talked most of the staff at the school into calling me ¨Laura fabulosa.¨ He loves Kenny G, accessorizing, and white shoes. I call him the latino Barry Manilow (hence the nickname). Earlier in the week, he bought me a gorgeous pair of earrings, and gives me advice on how I can improve my latin image nearly everyday. I´ve decided he is either my new best friend or my soulmate.

The first few days we used charades for much of our communication, and a few rather poignant communicative blunders occured. I was telling him where I am from in California, and asked him, ¨How do you say Pismo Beach in Español?¨ He got a very confused look on his face, and asked me to repeat the question. ¨Pismo Beach,¨ I said. ¨Soy de Pismo Beach. ¿Como se dice en Español?"

¨Laura,¨ he said, which sounds like low-da when he says it. ¨You want to know how to say Pismo BEACH in Spanish? You mean, like, Snoop Doggy Dog and his BEACHES?¨

No one can fault Barnaldo for being up on his international pop culture.